Marriage, Expectations, and Grace

By Pastor Brady Wolcott

This Friday and Saturday Grace Baptist Church will host a Marriage Weekend. Together we will learn about expectations. What they are and how they can send your marriage into a tailspin. We will talk about what our spouse needs and how to communicate through all of this mess? Today is the last chance to register so click here to get signed up.

Do you ever feel like your “I do” was possibly the biggest lie you ever told? Or that your spouse’s was? You stood up in front of God and the church and promised to love each other perfectly for eternity (or at least that’s how it felt in the moment). But that is a pretty tall order to keep. Actually it’s impossible.

Of course, most of us made that promise “knowing” that the person standing there with us would also keep this promise perfectly and love us endlessly with great passion like something out of a movie. As Esther Perel said, we expect that other person to be at the same time comfortable yet edgy, familiar yet new, predictable yet surprising.

The expectations we set for ourselves and our spouse, and our marriage are so far removed from reality and yet we don’t even realize it. We are asking our spouses to be what only God can be. What faith in God used to accomplish I now demand from my wife.

So the solution is to cut out all expectations, right? Well, that would be nice I guess, but that is also impossible. In fact, expectations are how we can learn to give and receive grace. Without LAW there is not much understanding of GRACE. Expectations become the law of marriage. Yes they will destroy your marriage, unless you learn to set your expectations up against the glory of grace. Let them drive you to the cross and to Christ. Let their impossibility open you up to your own neediness, and receptivity of grace. Then you can be a giver of grace.

To learn more why not come out this Friday to the Marriage Weekend. I hope to see you there.